By Emma Betuel

​​Sweaty palms, a pounding heart, a heightened sense of alertness — these are some of the physical sensations of stress that make it feel so uncomfortable.
But in the future, we may experience stress very differently. In a new study, researchers say they may have found the brain's master circuit behind stress' physical side effects, which could, one day, help diminish them.

Kazuhiro Nakamura is the lead study author and professor of physiology at Nagoya University Graduate School of Medicine in Japan. The research identifies a "master circuit" for stress in the brain, one that could affect the way other emotions manifest as physical sensations, too, he says.
"As far as we know, this is the first discovery of the mind-body connection in the brain," Nakamura tells Inverse.
​
"We speculate that this mind-body circuit also mediates body’s responses to other emotions including fear, anxiety, anger, and maybe happiness as well."
Importantly, this study suggests we may one day be able to stop the cascade that turns negative emotions into physical experiences. For people with PTSD or panic disorder, conditions in which emotional experiences may become full-blown physical maladies, Nakamura says the work is "an important step for the development of treatments."
The paper was published Thursday in the journal Science.
​
A MASTER CIRCUIT FOR STRESS
Stressful situations activate the sympathetic nervous system, which governs the body's fight-or-flight response. The spike in adrenaline, blood pressure, and elevated heart rate kept humans thousands of years ago, when the ability to quickly recognize and outrun a threat meant the difference between life and death.
Today, we face fewer imminent threats to life and limb, but our sympathetic nervous system still jumps into action when we perceive danger. It is triggered by things like scary movies, or for people with social anxiety, by awkward social situations. But if the sympathetic nervous system is activated frequently, as it may be in people with PTSD or chronic stress, then it can take a long-term toll on our health.
"Excessive stress often causes many problems and disorders, and also likely promotes aging of organs within our body," Nakamura says.
In this study, Nakamura and his team tried to answer a basic question about our fight-or-flight response. Where do these physical symptoms of stress come from in the brain? And can they be controlled?
To do this, the team injected rats with a tracer that would allow them to see which areas of their brains activated in response to social stress. For rats, that means that they were exposed to chronic social defeat (essentially rat-bullying, which stresses them out).
After sustained social rejection, neurons in two specific regions of the rats' brains caught the team's attention: the dorsal peduncular cortex and the dorsal tenia tecta. The latter is largely "unexplored," the researchers say.

When rats are continuously rejected by their peers, they also exhibit physical responses, including increases in blood pressure, or heart rate. But when the team injected the rats with a drug that stopped the neurons from firing, heart rate decreased by 53 percent and blood pressure plummeted by 77 percent.

The dorsal tenia tecta "has not been focused by research so far," so how these neurons function was "totally unknown," Nakamura says. Importantly, these changes don't appear to affect the body's heart beat or temperature overall, which suggests this circuit is solely responsible for the physical toll of stress.
"As a result, we found that the DP/DTT is the sole brain region that provides a master stress signal to the DMH to drive a variety of stress responses," he says.

SHOULD WE MESS WITH STRESS?
The results suggest the cascade of stress symptoms from brain to body can be inhibited. Theoretically, it may be possible to turn down the volume on the physical tolls of stress by targeting this area in the brain, without messing with the body's base functions.
But just because we may be able to mess with the physical tolls of stress, should we?
Nakamura notes that there is a downside to abandoning the physical sides of stress completely. If stress is not persistent or chronic, then it research suggests it may be just a natural part of life that can actually lead to personal growth.
"Even in human societies, an appropriate amount of mental stress would be helpful for better performances in their social activities," Nakamura says.
But when an emotional experience leads to a condition that changes life for the worse, this circuit could offer a target for treatments. This study is in rats and preliminary, so a clinical application for the findings may be a long time coming. But right now, the study does suggest that these brain regions could hold clues to understanding stress in humans — and how to treat it.
"Controlling stress levels into an appropriate range would be very important for our health, and our present discovery is a significant step to understand 'what is stress,'" Nakamura says.

Abstract: 
​The mechanism by which psychological stress elicits various physiological responses is unknown. We discovered a central master neural pathway in rats that drives autonomic and behavioral stress responses by connecting the corticolimbic stress circuits to the hypothalamus. Psychosocial stress signals from emotion-related forebrain regions activated a VGLUT1-positive glutamatergic pathway from the dorsal peduncular cortex and dorsal tenia tecta (DP/DTT), an unexplored prefrontal cortical area, to the dorsomedial hypothalamus (DMH), a hypothalamic autonomic center. Genetic ablation and optogenetics revealed that the DP/DTT→DMH pathway drives thermogenic, hyperthermic, and cardiovascular sympathetic responses to psychosocial stress without contributing to basal homeostasis. This pathway also mediates avoidance behavior from psychosocial stressors. Given the variety of stress responses driven by the DP/DTT→DMH pathway, the DP/DTT can be a potential target for treating psychosomatic disorders.​

We were particularly inspired by the post written by Brian Gardner for No Sidebar and thought we would share it.  Click HERE for the original link to article. - WSR -

​“Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.” — Charlotte Eriksson

We live in a world where busyness is king. We’re so busy glorifying how busy we are, we miss out on experiencing the moments that matter. And while we’re so busy making a living, we forget to make life—which is quite tragic.

Here’s a sobering truth: Busyness crushes our soul, and we should focus more on reducing the number of things on our calendar than adding to it.

The key to removing busyness is simple—live intentionally, and identify areas in our life we can replace with quiet time. After all, the white space is where the magic happens. And who isn’t down for a little magic?
How Comparison is the Thief of Joy“Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man’s self; and where there is no comparison, no envy.” — Sir Francis Bacon

When we compare ourselves to others, we set ourselves up to add “more” into our life. More money, more cars, more houses, and more stuff. We fall victim to the old adage of “keeping up with the Joneses” which prevents us from living the life we really want to live.

The problem is that we typically compare our “worst” to their “best”, which really paints a bleak picture. Joshua Becker, of Becoming Minimalist, shares how comparison is the thief of joy, and of a quiet life:
“Too many people live their lives without intentionality or thought. They rarely find a quiet moment to sit in meditation or solitude and examine their life—who they are and who they are becoming.”
He encourages us to stop comparing our lives, and start living them.

The Importance of a Quiet Life“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” — Anne Lamott

I’m convicted of this… All. The. Time.

Many of us, including me, suffer from FOMO—the fear of missing out. We’re simply afraid if we don’t attend that event, don’t sign up for that committee, or don’t enroll our kids in that sport, we’ll miss out on something.

We think there is happiness to be had, joy to be experienced, and moments to be made. Yes, there might be some truth to this, but who’s to say the moments of solitude or quiet time won’t measure up—or even exceed those altogether?

I love what Katrina Kenison shares in her essay, Why You Must Have Time Alone:
“In solitude, we see more clearly. Alone—in moments of prayer or meditation, or simply in stillness—we breathe more deeply, see more fully, hear more keenly. We notice more, and in the process, we return to what is sacred.”

Do yourself a favor and reclaim margin in your life. It might make a world of difference and bring you happiness. Because you are worthy of it.

Why Minimalism is the Answer“I am pursing minimalism. I know this to be true. I want less, and I want simplicity, and I want to spend my days connecting and caring, not consuming and completing.” — Erin Loechner

I don’t know about you, but that sounds really appealing to me. Isn’t this the kind of life you want to live? It’s definitely the kind of life I want to live.

Minimalism doesn’t have to be about living in a tiny house with only a few shirts in your closet. Minimalism is about paring down and focusing on the things that are important—or as Marie Kondo says, the ones that bring us joy.

Here’s how Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus define minimalism:
“Minimalism is a tool that can assist you in finding freedom. Freedom from fear. Freedom from worry. Freedom from overwhelm. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from depression. Freedom from the trappings of the consumer culture we’ve built our lives around. Real freedom.”

I believe we all want to incorporate some level of minimalism into our life, and experience the freedom that Joshua and Ryan talk about. And it’s important for us to know there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to do it.
Annie Dillard says, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

It starts with the decision to live more intentionally, and to make quiet time a priority. Each day is just as important as the next in creating the life we imagine.
​
Experience the Quiet LifeHere’s the bottom line: It is not selfish to want time for yourself.
It is not selfish to want moments where you can leave the world behind, and recapture the magic. I encourage you today to find one—just one—area in your life that you can make a change. Take one small step towards a quiet life.

So turn it off. Put it down. Do not open it. And do not answer it.

For once, put yourself first. Love yourself, and make yourself a priority. Even for just one day, you deserve everything. Every part of the life you are after.

​by Peg Streep - Posted January 27, 2017

    "What you have to understand is that my mother never raised her voice and when I confronted her about her treatment of me—her put-downs and criticisms, how she said I was the problem because I was too sensitive—that was the first thing she said: ‘How can you accuse me of that when I never raised my voice, not once, to you or anyone else?’ Well, abuse can be very quiet." — Kaitlyn, 45

      "I felt invisible in my childhood. My mother would ask me what I wanted to eat and then serve me something else. She’d ask if I were hungry and if I said I wasn’t, she'd go ahead and make me something and then look hurt or angry if I didn’t eat it. She did this constantly and it involved literally every choice. If I wanted red sneakers, she’d buy blue ones. I knew exactly how little I mattered to her. As an adult, I lack confidence in my own tastes and judgment." — Alice, 50

​​It’s not just that the culture assesses verbal abuse as less damaging than the physical kind—which it is not—but that when most people think about verbal abuse, they tend to summon up images of someone screaming and yelling. They imagine that the decibels are loud and the pitch is fevered, and that the person shouting is out of control, shaking with rage or intent. But while that’s true in some households, it isn’t always. In fact, counterintuitively enough, some of the worst kinds of verbal abuse are quiet; silence in answer to a question asked or a comment made can pack a mightier wallop than a loud rant. Silence effectively ridicules and shames.

The child subjected to quiet abuse often experiences more emotional confusion than one who’s being yelled at or insulted, precisely because the absence of rage sends mixed signals and the motivation behind willful silence or a refusal to answer is impossible for a child to read. There’s a special kind of hurt in being treated as though you’re invisible, or that you are so unimportant in the scheme of things that you’re not even worth answering. Is there anything more chilling and hurtful than seeing your mother act as though she can’t see you, her face calm?
Everything science has learned about the effects of verbal abuse applies to the quiet variety, too, chief among these being:

• Alteration of the child’s developing brain.
• Internalization of the messages conveyed into a habit of self-criticism, attributing setbacks or mistakes to fixed flaws in character.
• Insecure style of attachment and maladaptive ways of coping that interfere with healthy ways of relating.
• Impaired emotional intelligence and problems managing and regulating emotions.

There are specific kinds of “quiet” verbal abuse, each of which affects a child differently. Of course, the effects don’t end with childhood but carry over into adulthood in myriad ways. I’ve categorized them in a descriptive, rather than scientific, manner though research confirms all of these behaviors.

1. Disappearing Act: Being Ignored
Much of the information children have about the world and relationships comes to them second-hand. With a caring and attuned mother who responds to his or her cues, a child begins to fathom that he or she matters and is worthy of attention; these are the seeds that yield healthy self-esteem. The attentive mother communicates the message that “You’re fine just as you are,” giving the child the courage and confidence to explore the world. But the child with a mother who ignores her learns instead that her place in the world is precarious, even though she doesn’t know why.

Thanks to the work of Edward Tronick, his colleagues, and the “Still-Face” experiments conducted almost 40 years ago, we actually know how being ignored affects infants and toddlers. (At the time, it was widely believed that infants as young as four or five months didn’t actually interact with their mothers.) Tronick videotaped mothers interacting with infants who cooed, pointed, vocalized, and waved their arms in response to their mothers’ smiling faces, words, and gestures. (Keep in mind that using videotape in this way in 1978 was new and innovative.) Then Tronick had the mothers simply stop and present a still, expressionless face to their babies. Initially, the babies continued to vocalize and gesture but when the mothers’ faces continued to be emotionless, the babies looked away and then began to wail. The tapes show the infants literally collapsing in their chairs, overwhelmed by feeling.

Studies done with toddlers, capable of speech, showed precisely the same pattern when their mothers stopped interacting and presented the still face. They began by trying to re-engage their mothers—doing all the cute things that usually worked—but when those failed, they turned their backs on their mothers. Avoidance was preferable to feeling the pain of being ignored, excluded and loveless.

Of course, in the experiment, the mother’s smiling face returned and the babies recovered, though not quickly or completely. But served up on a daily basis, the effects of being ignored on a child’s development are complex and profound. The coping mechanisms he or she adapts—an anxious or avoidant attachment style—affect her long past childhood and into adulthood and, without therapy or some other earned attachment, for life.

2. Deadly Quiet: Stonewalling
From a child’s perspective, being stonewalled may seem very much like being ignored but it has different emotional consequences, especially as he or she matures; intense angerand frustration, directed at the person stonewalling him or her, may be par for the course. It’s not an accident that what experts call Demand/Withdraw (essentially ask/stonewall) is considered the most toxic pattern in relationships. Marital expert John Gottman considers it a reliable sign that the union of two people is doomed to fail. It’s hard enough to deal with a stonewalling intimate when you’re an adult—your partner’s refusal to answer inevitably ratchets up your own frustration and anger—but it’s absolutely devastating to a child who doesn’t have any way of defending him or herself.

The child’s lack of developed and effective defense mechanisms is precisely what researchers in Israel honed in on when they examined the long-term effects of childhood emotional abuse. They concluded that the damage done to individuals’ self-esteem had much to do with the inability to protect and defend themselves and to internalizing the thought that they weren’t good enough to warrant their parents’ attention when parents were uncaring or harshly controlling.

3. Wounding Quiet: Contempt and Derision
Shaming a child can be accomplished sotto voce or even with physical gestures like eye-rolling or laughing at him or her to convey contempt or making him or her the butt of jokes. This particular variety of bullying can become a team sport in some households, if siblings are asked to join the fray and make the child a scapegoat. Controlling parents or those who need to be the center of attention often use these techniques to maintain the dynamics of the household as they want them. Once again, damage can be done without a raised voice.

4. Bait and Switch: Gaslighting
article continues after advertisementThis tool of manipulation is aimed at having the child doubt his or her perceptions. (The term derives from a play—and later a film—about a man who tries to convince a woman she’s losing her mind.) Gaslighting doesn’t require shouting or yelling; all it takes is a simple statement that something that actually happened didn’t. Given the imbalance of power in the parent-child relationship—and the fact that a young child accepts the adult as the last word and authority on most things until she gets old enough to begin questioning her mother’s judgment—gaslighting is relatively easy. It not only makes a child worry about being “crazy” but erodes her confidence in her own thoughts and feelings in a profound and lasting way. Again, keep in mind that children don’t have conscious defense mechanisms.

5. "For Your Own Good": Hypercriticality
In many households, both the loud and the quiet kinds of verbal abuse are rationalized by the need to correct perceived flaws in the child’s character or behavior. Hypercriticality—nitpicking and then magnifying every misstep or mistake—may be “justified” or “explained” by having to make sure the child “isn’t too full of himself,” “doesn’t let his successes go to his head,” “learns humility,” “knows who’s boss” and other self-serving statements that are just excuses for cruel adult behavior. Delivered in a quiet tone, this barrage of criticism makes a child believe she’s unworthy of attention and support because she’s worthless.

6. Utter Silence: The Absence of Praise, Support, and Love
The power of what isn’t said cannot be overstated because the void it leaves in a child’s psyche and heart is enormous. Children are hardwired to need all the things that the abusive parent neither voices nor demonstrates in order to thrive and develop normally. In truth, words that articulate why a child is worthy of love and attention are as essential as food, water, clothing, and shelter.

7. Quiet and Shadows: Normalizing the Abuse
It’s a sad truth that a child’s world is so small that he or she thinks that what goes on in it goes on everywhere. Most children attribute verbal abuse to their flaws and “badness"; as Rachel Goldsmith and Jennifer Freyd note, this attribution may actually be less scary than “the scarier prospect that the caregiver can’t be trusted and may help create an illusion of control.” Even as adults, those verbally abused in the quiet manner during childhood may rationalize or normalize their parents’ behaviors for many different reasons. Seeing the ways in which you’ve been wounded by those charged to love you is hard for women and men alike.

It’s not just that verbal abuse is under-reported, but it’s not written and talked about often enough, and its lasting effects are not understood by the public at large. Let’s buck the trend and start paying attention to the quiet kind, too.
This post was inspired by my readers on Facebook who asked me to address the effects of "the silent treatment."

• Read my earlier post on verbal abuse.
• Visit me on Facebook.
• Read MEAN MOTHERS.

Copyright © 2017 Peg Streep
References
Finzi-Dottan, Ricky and Toby Karu, “From Emotional Abuse in Childhood to Psychopathology in Adulthood,” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease(August 2006), vol. `94, no.8, 616-622.
Tronick, Edward Z."Emotions and Emotional Communication in Infants," American Psychologist (1989) 44,112-126.
Weinberger, M. Katherine and E.Z. Tronick," Infant Affectivee Reactions to the Resumption of Maternal Interaction After the Still-Face," Child Development (1996), 67, 905-914.
Goldsmith, Rachel K. and Jennifer J. Freyd,” Effects of Emotional Abuse in Family and Work Environments: Awareness for Emotional Abuse,” Journal of Emotional Abuse (2005), vol. 5 (1), 95-123.

​Parents, no pressure, but the success of our future society depends on you!
New research points to cuddled children growing up to be healthier, less depressed, kinder, more empathetic, and more productive adults.

According to a WSBT report, "snuggles matter."

The new research from Notre Dame Psychologist Darcia Narvaez studied more than 600 adults and found those who were cuddled as children grew into more well-adjusted adults with less anxiety and better mental health.
The study found that, along with cuddling, a positive childhood with lots of affection and quality time also led to healthier adults with better coping skills.  The research will soon be featured in the journal Applied Developmental Science.

Much research has already been done on the effects of how cuddling helps preemies, and now that researchers are seeing benefits all the way up to adulthood, it just goes to show what the Beatles knew all along - all you need is love.

Pediatrician Dr. Armeet Singh from the Unitypoint Clinic in Bettendorf suggests that showing love and affection to your upset infant is also developmentally critical, because it lays the foundation to a strong relationship.

"The first four to six months of life for babies , that is one of the most important times for babies to develop that special bonding with their parents and their primary caregivers. Now those are the times where definitely we encourage families that at any point of time they are crying, they are looking for somebody to help them out we need to respond to that."

This research also puts an end to an age-old debate - you may now tell your mother-in-law that you can't "spoil" your baby by picking them up when they cry.

In fact, Narvaez tells WSBT that not only is it impossible to spoil a baby, you will actually "ruin" the baby's development by letting it cry.

"What parents do in those early months and years are really affecting the way the brain is going to grow the rest of their lives, so lots of holding, touching and rocking, that is what babies expect. They grow better that way. And keep them calm, because all sorts of systems are establishing the way they are going to work. If you let them cry a lot, those systems are going to be easily triggered into stress. We can see that in adult hood, that people that are not cared for well, tend to be more stress reactive and they have a hard time self calming," said Narvaez.

So, parents, snuggle away! Your child - and the world - will thank you later.
​
Story from KFOR via Tribune Media.

Please click HERE for original link - The New York Times

Carl Zimmer  MATTER DEC. 21, 2016

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​An MRI scan highlighting the frontal lobe. As people mature, reshaping of the brain slows, but in the frontal lobe new links are still forming at age 30. CreditLiving Art Enterprises/Science Source

Leah H. Somerville, a Harvard neuroscientist, sometimes finds herself in front of an audience of judges. They
come to hear her speak about how the brain develops.

It’s a subject on which many legal questions depend. How old does someone have to be to be sentenced to death? When should someone get to vote? Can an 18-year-old give informed consent?

Scientists like Dr. Somerville have learned a great deal in recent years. But the complex picture that’s emerging lacks the bright lines that policy makers would like.

“Oftentimes, the very first question I get at the end of a presentation is, ‘O.K., that’s all very nice, but when is the brain finished? When is it done developing?’” Dr. Somerville said. “And I give a very nonsatisfying answer.”
Dr. Somerville laid out the conundrum in detail in a commentary published on Wednesday in the journal Neuron.
​
The human brain reaches its adult volume by age 10, but the neurons that make it up continue to change for years after that. The connections between neighboring neurons get pruned back, as new links emerge between more widely separated areas of the brain.

Eventually this reshaping slows, a sign that the brain is maturing. But it happens at different rates in different parts of the brain.  The pruning in the occipital lobe, at the back of the brain, tapers off by age 20. In the frontal lobe, in the front of the brain, new links are still forming at age 30, if not beyond.“It challenges the notion of what ‘done’ really means,” Dr. Somerville said.

As the anatomy of the brain changes, its activity changes as well. In a child’s brain, neighboring regions tend to work together. By adulthood, distant regions start acting in concert. Neuroscientists have speculated that this long-distance harmony lets the adult brain work more efficiently and process more information.
But the development of these networks is still mysterious, and it’s not yet clear how they influence behavior. Some children, researchers have found, have neural networks that look as if they belong to an adult. But they’re still just children.

Dr. Somerville’s own research focuses on how the changes in the maturing brain affect how people think.
Adolescents do about as well as adults on cognition tests, for instance. But if they’re feeling strong emotions, those scores can plummet. The problem seems to be that teenagers have not yet developed a strong brain system that keeps emotions under control.
That system may take a surprisingly long time to mature, according to a study published this year in Psychological Science.

The authors asked a group of 18- to 21-year-olds to lie in an fMRI scanner and look at a monitor. They were instructed to press a button each time they were shown faces with a certain expression on them — happy in some trials, scared or neutral in others.

And in some cases, the participants knew that they might hear a loud, jarring noise at the end of the trial.
In the trials without the noise, the subjects did just as well as people in their mid-20s. But when they were expecting the noise, they did worse on the test.

Brain scans revealed that the regions of their brains in which emotion is processed were unusually active, while areas dedicated to keeping those emotions under control were weak.
“The young adults looked like teenagers,” said Laurence Steinberg, a psychologist at Temple University and an author of the study.

Dr. Steinberg agreed with Dr. Somerville that the maturing of the brain was proving to be a long, complicated process without obvious milestones. Nevertheless, he thinks recent studies hold some important lessons for policy makers.

He has proposed, for example, that the voting age be lowered to 16. “Sixteen-year-olds are just as good at logical reasoning as older people are,” Dr. Steinberg said.
Courts, too, may need to take into account the powerful influence of emotions, even on people in their early 20s.
“Most crime situations that young people are involved in are emotionally arousing situations — they’re scared, or they’re angry, intoxicated or whatever,” Dr. Steinberg said.

Dr. Somerville, on the other hand, said she was reluctant to offer specific policy suggestions based on her brain research. “I’m still in the learning stage, so I’d hesitate to call out any particular thing,” she said.
But she does think it is important for the scientists to get a fuller picture of how the brain matures. Researchers need to do large-scale studies to track its development from year to year, she said, well into the 20s or beyond.
​
It’s not enough to compare people using simple categories, such as labeling people below age 18 as children and those older as adults. “Nothing magical occurs at that age,” Dr. Somerville said.

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With an hour-long recess, elementary schools can help children develop through increased creative play, authentic SEL, and adequate physical regulation.
By Angela Hanscom

FROM EDUTOPIA.COM - PLEASE CLICK ON LINK FOR ORIGINAL ARTICLE

"Here they come," the teacher tells me with a weary smile. The children are on their way back from recess. Excited voices echo from down the hallway. I've decided to volunteer at my daughter's elementary school for the afternoon. Eager to see her smiling face, I intently watch the door as the children enter. Their energy as they trickle into the classroom is almost palpable. Even though the children are told to quickly take a seat, it takes a solid ten minutes for them to settle in. There are reminders to put away jackets, trips to the bathroom, pencils being sharpened, children talking to other children, brief episodes of giggling, and a few rowdy demonstrations of affection between some boys.

Later, the teacher confides in me, "I don't understand it. I think the children have more energy after they've had recess! Sometimes I wonder if recess is even worth it."
Shortfalls of a Short RecessMany teachers report that the period after recess is the absolute hardest transition time of the day. The children are often so wound up that it's hard bring their focus back to their lessons. Some teachers confess to using special techniques to calm and re-focus the children, such as dimming the lights or playing soothing music as they reenter the classroom. While these are great coping strategies to help manage the chaos, preventing episodes of amplified activity from occurring in the first place may prove to be the most beneficial. To do that, we need to allow for a longer recess session. May I boldly suggest at least an hour?
An adequate amount of recess time (or lack thereof) can directly affect children's ability to pay attention, self-regulate, socialize intelligently, and master complex learning skills. We can try to squeeze in short movement breaks here and there, but it won't have the same effects -- or, for that matter, even the same potential. Small movement breaks will always fall short of a good old-fashioned lengthy recess time. Here are three reasons why:

1. Creative Play: Recess sessions that last at least an hour have the potential to foster creative play. Many early childhood centers stress the importance of "large blocks of time (45-60 minutes)" for play throughout the day to help children develop "problem-solving skills that require persistence and engagement."  Observations through our summer camp program consistently demonstrate that it takes an average of 45 minutes of free play before children dive deep into more complex and evolved play schemes. It takes time for children to figure out who they're going to play with, what they're going to play, what everyone's role will be, and finally to execute their plan. If recess lasts only 15-20 minutes, the children are just figuring out who they'll play with and what they'll do before the bell rings and recess is over. Many times, this allows for few (if any) imaginative play opportunities.

2. Social-Emotional Development: In recent years, children have exhibited more trouble reading social cues, demonstrating empathy, and effectively socializing with their peers. Schools have created special "social skills groups" to help combat this problem. However, these adult-directed gatherings that emphasize role-playing are limited in their applicability. Children learn social skills best through real-life scenarios and play opportunities with their peers. They quickly learn that whining doesn't work with friends and that they don't always get what they want. To learn effective social skills, children need plenty of opportunities to freely engage with other children. Recess, if long enough, offers an ideal environment to practice these skills.
​
3. Physical Regulation: Children require longer than 20 minutes of active free play in order to regulate their bodies and prepare for learning (PDF). In fact, when you first let children outdoors, their initial movement experiences will actually increase their activity levels. According to Eric Jensen's book Teaching With the Brain in Mind, "A short recess arouses students and may leave them 'hyper' and less able to concentrate." Children benefit from an extended recess session (approximately an hour in length), because it gives their bodies time to regulate the movement and bring their activity level back down again.
A Call to Active PlayLet's face it: the current 20-minute recess sessions are not long enough. A mere 20 minutes won't allow children to dive deep into their imaginary worlds or create elaborate play schemes. This is not enough time for children to practice effective social skills -- something that's lacking in this age of technology. And a short recess won't let children regulate their bodies to prepare them for higher-level learning experiences.
If we just made our recess sessions a little longer, we would likely see significant changes in child behavior, attention, and even creativity. The Swanson Primary School in Auckland, New Zealand is a perfect example of giving children more time and freedom at recess, and of the many benefits they saw as a result. We can do the same. All we need to do is make recess a priority once again.

Happiness is an amazing feeling that far too many of us struggle to maintain. The fact that we are alive at all is a blessing in itself. However, instead of enjoying each and every day, we sometimes allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by life’s obstacles. Admittedly, it’s easy to do.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could be happy all the time? Well, scientific research shows that you actually can boost your level of happy brain chemicals. The level of happiness in your life is controlled by the amount of “happy” chemicals and hormones that your brain produces. Luckily, there are a number of natural ways to boost the amount of these chemicals.
Did you know that just thinking about being happy can change your brain’s chemical structure? The human brain is an amazing thing. In fact, neurologists believe that the human brain is the most powerful tool on the planet.
While it is true that the human brain is responsible for magnificent creations, why can’t we manifest our own happiness. Well, it is possible, but not many people know the correct way to go about doing it.

7. Increase Good Gut Bacteria
Scientists have recently discovered that having a healthy level of good gut bacteria can actually decrease anxiety. Experts believe that probiotics found in fermented foods to be rich in beneficial gut bacteria. Taking a daily probiotic supplement can also help.
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6. Hug
Have you ever wondered why babies need to be held so much? Nothing calms a crying baby like a mother’s touch, but why is this so? Well, a warm hug actually releases oxytocin in the brain. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that provides a happy and familiar feeling.
The next time that you are feeling down, try embracing a loved one in a long and passionate hug. You should feel a sense of relief almost immediately.

5. Go In the Sun
The sun is one of our most powerful allies. Aside from providing warmth, the sun gives life to trees, plants, and animals. Without the sun, our planet would freeze over completely. Life as we know it would cease to exist. Likewise, without the sun, happiness is hard to maintain as well.
Humans and nearly every other living creature on this planet requires sunlight to survive – it is more important that most people realize. A walk outside on a sunny day is a great way to boost your serotonin levels. Furthermore, sunlight increases the production of the sleep hormone known as melatonin. Not only will regular exposure to sunlight make you happier, but you will also sleep much better.

4. Writing It Down
Throughout our lives, we have been taught to write down our goals and aspirations. Unfortunately, not many of us actually do this. However, writing down your happiness goals will make it a reality. Furthermore, doing this will calm your amygdala, which will cause you to carry around less fear.

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.” ~Brene Brown

Practicing the art of deep breathing will be very beneficial for a number of different reasons. For one, deep breathing slows down the heart rate. Deep breathing also activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

3. Deep Breathing
In order to practice deep breathing, you should first sit in a comfortable position. Your surroundings must be quiet and peaceful. Next, inhale for 5-7 seconds and exhale slowly. Practicing this breathing method over and over will induce the production of happy chemicals.

2. Laughing/Smiling
Turn that frown upside down! Did you know that laughing and smiling are two of the most powerful things that you can do to boost your own happiness? Even if it is fake or forced, it still get’s your brain to star producing good-vibe substances. When you smile, your brain releases happy chemicals that can make you feel better instantly. Don’t believe us? Just look in the mirror and smile. You won’t be able to hold back a smile, but that’s a good thing!
Scientists believe that laughing is linked to the release of endorphins. Laughing also increases feel-good chemicals in the brain. Laughter provides pleasure and reduces pain. If you can’t laugh, just pretend to. Laughter is very important when it comes to boosting your happiness.

1. Sleep
Not getting enough rest can be one of the worst things for your happiness. Furthermore, not getting enough sleep can actually be very detrimental to your health. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 7 hours of sleep is the minimum recommended amount of sleep required. Unfortunately, almost 50% of Americans sleep less than 7 hours on a daily basis.

Poor sleep habits can lead to serious side effects such as insomnia, stress, and anxiety. Feel-good hormones such as serotonin are produced in the brain during sleep. Furthermore, the chemicals located in the brain that are linked to happiness get messed up altogether without proper sleep.

In order to fix this problem, you must implement a healthier sleep routine. It’s a good idea to go to sleep at the same time every night, and it’s also wise to exercise often. Exercise will fatigue the body, and you will fall asleep much easier. Drinking a warm glass of milk and taking melatonin will help as well.

Please click HERE for link to original article at The Power of Happy

All children are capable of extraordinary things. There is no happiness gene, no success gene, and no ‘doer of extraordinary things’ gene. The potential for happiness and greatness lies in all of them, and will mean different things to different kids. We can’t change that they will face challenges along the way. What we can do is give them the skills so these challenges are never able to break them. We can build their resilience. 


Resilience is being able to bounce back from stress, challenge, tragedy, trauma or adversity. When children are resilient, they are braver, more curious, more adaptable, and more able to extend their reach into the world. 
The great news is that resilience is something that can be nurtured in all children. 
Resilience and the brain. Here’s what you need to know. During times of stress or adversity, the body goes through a number of changes designed to make us faster, stronger, more alert, more capable versions of ourselves. Our heart rate increases, blood pressure goes up, and adrenaline and cortisol (the stress hormone) surge through the body. In the short-term, this is brilliant, but the changes were only ever mean to be for the short-term. Here’s what happens …
The stress response is initiated by the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for our instinctive, impulsive responses. From there, messages are sent to the brain to release its chemical cocktail (including adrenaline and cortisol) to help the body deal with the stress. When the stress is ongoing, the physiological changes stay switched on. Over an extended period of time, they can weaken the immune system (which is why students often get sick during exams), the body and the brain.
Stress can also cause the prefrontal cortex at the front of the brain to temporarily shut down. The prefrontal cortex is the control tower of the brain. It is involved in attention, problem solving, impulse control, and regulating emotion. These are known as ‘executive functions’. Sometimes not having too much involvement from the pre-frontal cortex can be a good thing – there are times we just need to get the job done without pausing to reflect, plan or contemplate (such as crying out in pain to bring help fast, or powering through an all-nighter). Then there are the other times. 
Resilience is related to the capacity to activate the prefrontal cortex and calm the amygdala. When this happens, the physiological changes that are activated by stress start to reverse, expanding the capacity to recovering from, adapt to, or find a solution to stress, challenge or adversity. 
How does resilience affect behaviour?Children will have different levels of resilience and different ways of responding to and recovering from stressful times. They will also have different ways of showing when the demands that are being put upon them outweigh their capacity to cope. They might become emotional, they might withdraw, or they might become defiant, angry or resentful. Of course, even the most resilient of warriors have days where it all gets too much, but low resilience will likely drive certain patterns of behaviour more often. 
Can resilience be changed?Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely resilience can be changed. Resilience is not for the genetically blessed and can be strengthened at any age. One of the most exciting findings in the last decade or so is that we can change the wiring of the brain through the experiences we expose it to. The right experiences can shape the individual, intrinsic characteristics of a child in a way that will build their resilience. 
Now for the how. Building resilience in children. Building small humans into healthy, thriving big ones isn’t about clearing adversity out of their way. Of course, if we could scoop them up and lift them over the things that would cause them to stumble, that would be a wonderful thing, but it wouldn’t necessarily be doing them any favours. A little bit of stress is life-giving and helps them to develop the skills they need to flourish. Strengthening them towards healthy living is about nurturing within them the strategies to deal with that adversity. Here’s how.

1. Resilience needs relationships, not uncompromising independence.Research tells us that it’s not rugged self-reliance, determination or inner strength that leads kids through adversity, but the reliable presence of at least one supportive relationship. In the context of a loving relationship with a caring adult, children have the opportunity to develop vital coping skills. The presence of a responsive adult can also help to reverse the  physiological changes that are activated by stress. This will ensure that the developing brain, body and immune system are protected from the damaging effects of these physiological changes. Anyone in the life of a child can make a difference – family, teachers, coaches – anyone.
   
2. Increase their exposure to people who care about them.Social support is associated with higher positive emotions, a sense of personal control and predictability, self-esteem, motivation, optimism, a resilience. Kids won’t always notice the people who are in their corner cheering them on, so when you can, let them know about the people in their fan club. Anything you can do to build their connection with the people who love them will strengthen them.
   ‘I told Grandma how brave you were. She’s so proud of you.’
   
3. Let them know that it’s okay to ask for help.Children will often have the idea that being brave is about dealing with things by themselves. Let them know that being brave and strong means knowing when to ask for help. If there is anything they can do themselves, guide them towards that but resist carrying them there. 
   
4. Build their executive functioning.Strengthening their executive functioning will strengthen the prefrontal cortex. This will help them manage their own behaviour and feelings, and increase their capacity to develop coping strategies. Some powerful ways to build their executive functioning are:
   •  establishing routines;  
   •  modelling healthy social behaviour; 
   •  creating and maintaining supportive reliable relationships around them;  
   •  providing opportunities for their own social connections;  
   •  creative play;  
   • board games (good for impulse control (taking turns), planning, working memory, and mental flexibility (the ability to shift thoughts to an alternative, better pattern of thought if the situation requires); 
   •  games that involve memory (e.g. the shopping game – ‘I went shopping and I bought a [puppy]’; the next person says, ‘I went shopping and I bought a [puppy and a bike for my t-rex]’; next person … ‘I went shopping and I bought [a puppy, a bike for my t-rex and a hot air balloon] – the winner is the last one standing who doesn’t forget something on the shopping list;  
   •  exercise;  
   •  giving them opportunities to think and act independently (if they disagree with you and tell you why you’re wrong, there’s a plus side – their executive functioning is flourishing!);
   •  providing opportunities for them to make their own decisions.
   
5. Encourage a regular mindfulness practice.Mindfulness creates structural and functional changes in the brain that support a healthy response to stress. It strengthens the calming, rational prefrontal cortex and reduces activity in the instinctive, impulsive amygdala. It also strengthens the connections between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. When this connection is strong, the calming prefrontal cortex will have more of a hand in decisions and behaviour. See here for fun ways that children can practice mindfulness.
   
6. Exercise.Exercise strengthens and reorganises the brain to make it more resilient to stress. One of the ways it does this is by increasing the neurochemicals  that can calm the brain in times of stress. Anything that gets kids moving is stellar, but of course, if you can make it fun that pretty much grants you hero status. Here are some ideas, but get them thinking and they’ll have plenty of their own:
   • throw a frisbee; 
   • kick a ball;  
   • give a hula-hoop a spin; 
   • dance stars;  
   • walk the dog;
   • superhero tag (the tagged one stands in the middle of a circle on the ground, a superhero saves them by using their superhero powers to fly with running feet through the circle); 
   • detective (in the park or backyard … first one to find five things that are green; or five things starting with ‘s’; or seven things that could be used for dress-ups; or ten things that smell gorgeous – ready, set, go!).
   
7. Build feelings of competence and a sense of mastery.Nurture that feeling in them – that one that reminds them they can do hard things. You’ll be doing this every time you acknowledge their strengths, the brave things they do, their effort when they do something difficult; and when you encourage them to make their own decisions. When they have a sense of mastery, they are less likely to be reactive to future stress and more likely to handle future challenges.
   ‘You’re a superstar when it comes to trying hard things. You’ve got what it takes. Keep going. You’ll get there.’
   
8. Nurture optimism.Optimism has been found to be one of the key characteristics of resilient people. The brain can be rewired to be more optimistic through the experiences it is exposed to. If you have a small human who tends to look at the glass as being half empty, show them a different view. This doesn’t mean invalidating how they feel. Acknowledge their view of the world, and introduce them to a different one. (See here for more ways to nurture optimism in children.)
   ‘It’s disappointing when it rains on a sports day isn’t it. Let’s make the most of this. What’s something we can do on a rainy day that we probably wouldn’t do if it was sunny?’ The idea is to focus on what is left, rather than what has been lost. 
   
   
   
9. Teach them how to reframe.The ability to reframe challenges in ways that feel less threatening is linked to resilience. Reframing is such a valuable skill to have. In times of difficulty or disappointment, it will help them to focus on what they have, rather than what they’ve lost. To build this skill, acknowledge their disappointment, then gently steer them away from looking at what the problem has cost them, towards the opportunities it might have brought them.
   For example, if a rainy day has meant sport has been cancelled,
   ‘I understand how disappointed you are about not playing today. I’d be disappointed too. What can we do because of the rain that we might not have been able to do otherwise?’ (If they’re really disappointed they might need your help.) ‘You could snuggle up and read a book, watch a movie, play a game inside, walk in the rain, we could cook and throw a pretend party or have a fancy afternoon tea – with very fancy clothes of course, and jewels and fancy shoes and china plates and fancy glasses and maybe even … a tablecloth – but no forks – we are not eating cake with forks, no way – that’s just too far.’
   Let there be ridiculous ideas too. This will let them push past the obvious and come up with something that is beautifully unique. It will also encourage them to question any limits or ideas about how things ‘should’ be done. 
   ‘Maybe we could have a picnic in the rain, or a beach party. Maybe we could paint ourselves with mud, or wash the dog in the rain, or make a bubble bath out there and wash ourselves!’ Are there ways they can turn this into interesting ideas.
   
10. Model resiliency. Imitation is such a powerful way to learn. The small humans in your life will want to be just like you, and they’ll be watching everything. Without pitching it above what they can cope with, let them see how you deal with disappointment. Bringing them into your emotional world at appropriate times will help them to see that sadness, stuckness, disappointment are all very normal human experiences. When experiences are normalised, there will be a safety and security that will open the way for them to explore what those experiences mean for them, and experiment with ways to respond.
    ‘I’m disappointed that I didn’t get the job, but that’s because it was important to me. It’s nice to have things that are important to you, even if they don’t end the way you want them to. I did my very best in the interview and I know I’ll be okay. That one wasn’t the job for me, but I know there is going to be one that is perfect. I just have to keep trying and be patient.
    
11. Facing fear – but with support.Facing fear is so empowering (within the limits of self-preservation of course – staying alive is also empowering) but to do this, they need the right support – as we all do. Kids can be fairly black and white about things so when they are faced with something difficult, the choices can seem like only two – face it head on or avoid it at all costs. But there is a third option, and that is to move gradually towards it, while feeling supported and with a certain amount of control. See here for the stepladder, which explains how to edge them gently and safely towards the things that challenge them.
    
12. Encourage them to take safe, considered risks.Let them know that the courage they show in doing something brave and difficult is more important than the outcome. Age-appropriate freedom lets them learn where their edges are, encourages them to think about their decisions, and teaches them that they can cope with the things that go wrong. When they take risks they start to open up to the world and realise their capacity to shape it. There’s magic in that for them and for us.
    ‘I love how brave you are. When you try harder and harder things, they might not  always work out, but it means you’re getting stronger, smarter, braver and you’ll be closer to getting it next time.’
    
13. Don’t rush to their rescue.It is in the precious space between falling and standing back up again that they learn how to find their feet. Of course, sometimes scooping them up and giving them a steady place to be is exactly what they need to find the strength to move forward. The main thing is not to do it every time. Exposure to stressors and challenges that they can manage during childhood will help to ensure that they are more able to deal with stress during adulthood. There is evidence that these early experiences cause positive changes in the prefrontal cortex (the ‘calm down, you’ve got this’ part of the brain), that will protect against the negative effects of future stress. Think of it like immunisation – a little bit of the pathogen, whether it’s a virus or something stressful, helps to build up resistance or protect against the more severe version. 
    
14. Meet them where they are.  Resilience isn’t about never falling down. It’s about getting back up again, and there’s no hurry for this to happen. All of us experience emotional pain, setback, grief and sadness sometimes. Feelings always have a good reason for being there, even if they can feel a little pushy at times. The key for kids is to learn to respect those feelings (even the bad ones), but not let them take charge and steer towards trouble. Sadness and grief, for example, can make us want to withdraw for a little while. It is during the withdrawal that information is reflected upon, assimilated and processed so that balance can be found again. If this is rushed, even if it is in the name of resilience, it can stay as a gentle rumble and show up through behaviour, sometimes at wildly unexpected times.
    
15. Nurture a growth mindset. We can change, and so can other people. Research has found that children who have a growth mindset – the belief that people have the potential to change – are more likely to show resilience when things get tough. Compared to kids who believe that bullies will always be bullies and victims will always be victims, kids who believe that people can change report less stress and anxiety, better feelings about themselves in response to social exclusion, and better physical health. See here for the step by step on how to nurture a growth mindset.
    
16. Let them know that you trust their capacity to cope.Fear of failure isn’t so much about the loss but about the fear that they (or you) won’t be able to cope with the loss. What you think matters – it really does. You’re the one they will look to as a gauge for how they’re going. If you believe they have it in them to cope with the stumbles along the way, they will believe this too. This isn’t always easy. We will often feel every bump, bruise, fall or fail. It can be heartbreaking when they struggle or miss out on something they want, not because of what it means for us, but because of what we know it means for them. But – they’ll be okay. However long it takes, they’ll be okay. When you decide, they’ll decide. 
    
17. Build their problem-solving toolbox.Self-talk is such an important part of problem-solving. Your words are powerful because they are the foundation on which they build their own self-talk. Rather than solving their problems for them, start to give them the language to solve their own. Some ideas:
    •  What would [someone who they see as capable] do?
    •  What has worked before?
    •  Say as many ideas as you can in two minutes, even the silly ones? Lay them on me. Go.
    •  How can we break this big problem into little pieces?
    So say, for example, the problem is, ‘What if I miss you or get scared when I’m at Grandmas?’ Validate them first, then start giving them the problem-solving language without handing them solution,
    ‘You might miss me. I’ll miss you too. It’s really normal to miss people you love, even if you’re with people you love being with. What do you think might help if that happens?’ or, ‘What would [Superman/ Dad/ big sister who is practicing to rule the universe] do?’ or ‘What sort of things do you do here at home that help you to feel cozy or safe?’ I know you always have great ideas.’
    
18. Make time for creativity and play.Problem-solving is a creative process. Anything that strengthens their problem-solving skills will nurture their resilience. Children are naturally curious, inquisitive and creative. Give them the space and the time to play and get creative, and they’ll do the rest. 
    
19. Shhh. Let them talk.Try to resist solving their problems for them. (Oh but so tempting, I know!) Instead, be the sounding board as they take themselves to wherever they need to be. As they talk, their mind is processing and strengthening. The sparks that are flying up there could shine a light bright enough to read by. Guide them, but wherever you can, let them talk and try to come up with their own solutions. You are the safest place in the world for them to experiment and try new things. Problem-solving is a wonderful skill to have, and their time talking to you, and coming up with ideas, will build it beautifully. Give them the opportunity to explore and wander around their own great potential.
    
20. Try, ‘how’, not ‘why’.When things go wrong – as they will – asking kids ‘why’ will often end in ‘don’t know’. Who knows why any of us do silly things or make decisions that aren’t great ones. The only certainty is that we all do them. Rather than, ‘why did you paint your sister’s face?’ which might lead to the perfectly reasonable explanation of, ‘to make it yellow’, encourage problem-solving and reflection by asking how they can put it right. ‘She’s yellow but it’s not okay for her to stay yellow. How can you fix this?’ 
    

And above all else …Let them know they are loved unconditionally. (But you already knew that.)This will give them a solid foundation to come back to when the world starts to feel wobbly. Eventually, they will learn that they can give that solid foundation to themselves. A big part of resilience is building their belief in themselves. It’s the best thing they’ll ever believe in. 

Please click HERE to visit link to original article at Hey Sigmund

​By LISA FELDMAN BARRETT

IMAGE: JUN CEN

​Think about the people in your life who are 65 or older. Some of them are experiencing the usual mental difficulties of old age, like forgetfulness or a dwindling attention span. Yet others somehow manage to remain mentally sharp. My father-in-law, a retired doctor, is 83 and he still edits books and runs several medical websites.
Why do some older people remain mentally nimble while others decline? “Superagers” (a term coined by the neurologist Marsel Mesulam) are those whose memory and attention isn’t merely above average for their age, but is actually on par with healthy, active 25-year-olds. My colleagues and I at Massachusetts General Hospital recently studied superagers to understand what made them tick.

Our lab used functional magnetic resonance imaging to scan and compare the brains of 17 superagers with those of other people of similar age. We succeeded in identifying a set of brain regions that distinguished the two groups. These regions were thinner for regular agers, a result of age-related atrophy, but in superagers they were indistinguishable from those of young adults, seemingly untouched by the ravages of time.
What are these crucial brain regions? If you asked most scientists to guess, they might nominate regions that are thought of as “cognitive” or dedicated to thinking, such as the lateral prefrontal cortex. However, that’s not what we found. Nearly all the action was in “emotional” regions, such as the midcingulate cortex and the anterior insula.

My lab was not surprised by this discovery, because we’ve seen modern neuroscience debunk the notion that there is a distinction between “cognitive” and “emotional” brain regions.
This distinction emerged in the 1940s, when a doctor named Paul MacLean devised a model of the human brain with three layers. An ancient inner layer, inherited from reptiles, was presumed to contain circuits for basic survival. The middle layer, the “limbic system,” supposedly contained emotion circuitry inherited from mammals. And the outermost layer was said to house rational thinking that is uniquely human. Dr. MacLean called this model “the triune brain.”

The triune brain became (and remains) popular in the media, the business world and certain scientific circles. But experts in brain evolution discredited it decades ago. The human brain didn’t evolve like a piece of sedimentary rock, with layers of increasing cognitive sophistication slowly accruing over time. Rather (in the words of the neuroscientist Georg Striedter), brains evolve like companies do: they reorganize as they expand. Brain areas that Dr. MacLean considered emotional, such as the regions of the “limbic system,” are now known to be major hubs for general communication throughout the brain. They’re important for many functions besides emotion, such as language, stress, regulation of internal organs, and even the coordination of the five senses into a cohesive experience.

And now, our research demonstrates that these major hub regions play a meaningful role in superaging. The thicker these regions of cortex are, the better a person’s performance on tests of memory and attention, such as memorizing a list of nouns and recalling it 20 minutes later.
Of course, the big question is: How do you become a superager? Which activities, if any, will increase your chances of remaining mentally sharp into old age? We’re still studying this question, but our best answer at the moment is: work hard at something. Many labs have observed that these critical brain regions increase in activity when people perform difficult tasks, whether the effort is physical or mental. You can therefore help keep these regions thick and healthy through vigorous exercise and bouts of strenuous mental effort. My father-in-law, for example, swims every day and plays tournament bridge.

The road to superaging is difficult, though, because these brain regions have another intriguing property: When they increase in activity, you tend to feel pretty bad — tired, stymied, frustrated. Think about the last time you grappled with a math problem or pushed yourself to your physical limits. Hard work makes you feel bad in the moment. The Marine Corps has a motto that embodies this principle: “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” That is, the discomfort of exertion means you’re building muscle and discipline. Superagers are like Marines: They excel at pushing past the temporary unpleasantness of intense effort. Studies suggest that the result is a more youthful brain that helps maintain a sharper memory and a greater ability to pay attention.

This means that pleasant puzzles like Sudoku are not enough to provide the benefits of superaging. Neither are the popular diversions of various “brain game” websites. You must expend enough effort that you feel some “yuck.” Do it till it hurts, and then a bit more.
In the United States, we are obsessed with happiness. But as people get older, research shows, they cultivate happiness by avoiding unpleasant situations. This is sometimes a good idea, as when you avoid a rude neighbor. But if people consistently sidestep the discomfort of mental effort or physical exertion, this restraint can be detrimental to the brain. All brain tissue gets thinner from disuse. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
​
So, make a New Year’s resolution to take up a challenging activity. Learn a foreign language. Take an online college course. Master a musical instrument. Work that brain. Make it a year to remember.
Lisa Feldman Barrett, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University, is the author of the forthcoming “How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain.”
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Please click HERE for original link at The New York Times

​January 1, 2006/2 Comments//by Martha Beck

​It was a problem I’d never anticipated: My brainy daughter was having trouble in school. Katie began teaching herself to read at 15 months and tested at a “post–high school” level in almost every subject by fourth grade. Yet her middle-school grades were dropping like a lead balloon, and her morale along with them. I cared more about the morale than the grades. I knew Katie was quickly losing something educational psychologists call her sense of self-efficacy—her belief that she could succeed at specific tasks and life in general. People who lack this trait tend to stop trying because they expect to fail. Then, of course, they do fail, feel even worse, shut down even more, and carry on to catastrophe.
​
I couldn’t understand what put Katie on this slippery slope. True, some people seem genetically inclined to believe in themselves—or not—but experience powerfully influences our sense of self-efficacy. I knew Katie had been confident as a preschooler, but her current trouble at school was destroying her optimism. I tried to help in every way I could. I created homework-checking systems, communicated with teachers like bosom buddies, doled out penalties and rewards. Mostly, though, I just kept cheering Katie on. I was sure that if she would stop hesitating, believe in herself, and just throw herself into the task at hand, she’d get past the problem.
​
Boy, was I ever wrong.
It took years of confidence-battering struggle—for both Katie and me—before I finally got the information I needed. It came from a no-nonsense bundle of kindly energy named Kathy Kolbe, a specialist on the instinctive patterns that shape human action. Kathy’s father pioneered many standardized intelligence tests, but Kathy was born with severe dyslexia, which meant that this obviously bright little girl didn’t learn in a typical way. She grew up determined to understand and defend the different ways in which people go about solving problems.

The day Katie and I met her, Kathy was wearing a T-shirt that said “do nothing when nothing works,” a motto that typifies her approach. On her desk were the results from the tests (the Kolbe A and Y Indexes) that my daughter and I had just taken to evaluate our personal “conative styles,” or typical action patterns.
“Well,” said Kathy, glancing at a bar graph, “I see you both listen better when you’re drawing.”
Katie and I stared at each other, astonished. Bull’s-eye.
“And you’ve both had a zillion teachers tell you to stop drawing. They said you could do only one thing at a time, but that’s not true for you two, is it? You have a hard time focusing if there’s nothing to occupy your eyes and hands.”

Unexpectedly, I found myself tearing up with gratitude. I’d never realized how frustrated I’d been by the very situation Kathy was describing. Katie sat up a little straighter in her chair.
“But,” Kathy went on, “Martha, you go about problem-solving in a different way from Katie. There are four basic action modes, and you’re what I call a Quick Start. When you want to learn, you just jump in and start messing around.”

Another bull’s-eye. I cannot count the times I’ve been defeated, humiliated, or physically injured immediately after saying the words, “Hey, how hard can it be?” But that never seems to stop me from saying them again.
“Now,” Kathy went on, “Katie’s not a Quick Start. She’s a Fact Finder. Before she starts a task, she needs to know all about it. She needs to go through the instructions and analyze them for flaws, then get more information to fill in the gaps.”

To my amazement, my daughter nodded vigorously. I’ve never understood why some people hesitate before diving into unfamiliar tasks or activities. I couldn’t imagine wanting more instructions about anything.
“There are two other typical patterns,” Kathy explained. “The people I call Implementors—like Thomas Edison, for example—need physical objects to work with. They figure out things by building models or doing concrete tasks. Then there are the Follow Thrus. They set up orderly systems, like the Dewey decimal system or a school curriculum.

“And that, Katie,” she said, “is why you’re having trouble. The school system was created mainly by people who are natural Follow Thrus. It works best for students with the same profile. Your teachers want you to fit into the system, but you have a hard time seeing how it works. If you question the instructions—which you absolutely need to do—they think you’re being sassy.”

Katie nodded so hard I feared for her cervical vertebrae. I was stunned. I’d spent years trying to understand my daughter, and a veritable stranger had just nailed the problem in ways I’d never even conceptualized. Katie wanted more instructions? You could have knocked me down with a feather.

Basic InstinctI’ve told this story in detail because since meeting Kathy, studying her work, and seeing how dramatically it affects people and their productivity, I’ve become convinced that many of us feel like failures because we don’t recognize (let alone accept) that our instinctive methods of acting are as varied as our eye color. Our modus operandi shapes the way we do everything: make breakfast, drive, learn math. Not recognizing natural differences in our conative styles—assuming instead that we’re idiots because we do things unconventionally—can destroy that precious sense of self-efficacy.

Imagine a race between four animals: an otter, a mole, a squirrel, and a mouse. They’re headed for a goal several feet away. Which animal will win? Well, it depends. If the goal is underground, my money’s on the mole. If it’s in a tree? Hello, Mr. Squirrel. Underwater, it’s the otter. And if the goal is hidden in tall grass, the mouse will walk away with it. Now, all these animals can swim, dig, climb, and find things in the grass. It’s just that each of them does one of these things better than the others. Putting all four animals in a swimming race, say, would lead to the conclusion that one was better than the others, when the truth is simply that their innate skills are different.
If we’re in an environment (such as school, a job, or a family tradition) that asks us to act against our natural style, we feel uncomfortable at best, tormented at worst. Even if we manage to conform, we don’t get a high sense of self-efficacy because although we’ve managed the efficacy part of the equation, we’ve lost the self. When we fail, we feel like losers; when we succeed, we feel like impostors.
Thanks to Kathy’s work (and centuries of psychological work on conation), I’ve stopped asking others to match my instinctive style. I no longer expect squirrels to swim and otters to climb trees. As a result, I’m better able to support myself, my children, and everyone else I know. Here’s a quick primer on how you can do the same:
ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE AN INBORN, INSTINCTIVE STYLE OF ACTIONJust learning that there are four distinct patterns of action was a huge aha for me. When Katie and I accepted that we simply had different ways of doing things, our relationship and her confidence began to improve immediately. To identify your own action-mode profile, you can take a formal online test (the Kolbe Index at kolbe.com; there is a charge), or just observe your own approach to getting something done. To give you an example, people with different profiles might respond to a challenge—let’s say, learning to crochet—in the following ways:

• Quick Start: If you’re a Quick Start who wants to crochet, you’ll probably buy some yarn and a hook, get a few tips from an experienced crochetmeister, and jump right into trial and error.

• Fact Finder: You’ll spend hours reading, watching, asking questions, and learning about crocheting before actually beginning to use the tools.

• Implementor: You pay less attention to words than to concrete objects, so you might draw a pattern of a crochet stitch or even create a large model using thick rope, before you go near a needle.

• Follow Thru: You’ll likely schedule a lesson with a crochet teacher or buy a book that proceeds through a yarn curriculum, learning new stitches in order of difficulty.

None of these approaches is right or wrong. They can all succeed brilliantly. But someone who’s programmed to use one style will feel awkward and discouraged trying to follow another. We can all master each style if we have to, the way a mole can swim or an otter can climb trees, but it’s not a best-case scenario.
So I finally stopped pressuring Katie to act like her Follow Thru teachers or her Quick Start mother. Instead I helped her find detailed information and gave her time to absorb it. She recently devoured a 1,000-page book on Web site design that I would not read if the alternative were death on the rack. It took her a month to finish the book. The next day, she made a Web site. Spooky.

Play to your strengthsOnce you know your instinctive style, brainstorm ways to make it work for you, not against you. For starters, choose fields of endeavor where you feel comfortable and competent. If you love systematic structure, don’t become a freelancer. If you are crazy about physical models, don’t force yourself to crunch financial statistics for a living.
To really boost your sense of self-efficacy, think of ways you could modify your usual tasks to suit your personal style. For example, Kathy suggested that Katie might ask for permission to do detailed research reports in place of other school assignments. I nearly threw up at the very thought, but to my astonishment Katie agreed enthusiastically.
Of course, you’ll inevitably interact with people whose instinctive patterns are different from yours. Otter, Mole, Squirrel, and Mouse may all show up in the same family, workplace, or book club. Occasionally, it’s fine to conform, using styles of action that don’t come naturally—but do it consciously and for a limited time, or your sense of self-efficacy will suffer. And finally…
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Team up with unlike othersAs long as Otter, Mole, Squirrel, and Mouse are forced to race in the same terrain, at least three of them will be out of their element, looking and feeling like failures. But think what they could do if they pooled their skills. They could access resources from the water, earth, trees, and fields, combining them in ways none of the animals could achieve alone. They could rule the world! (Or at least the backyard.)
This is the very best way to leverage an understanding of conative style—to create useful, complementary strategies instead of disheartening, competitive ones. Many of us have spent a lifetime trying to be what we’re not, feeling lousy about ourselves when we fail and sometimes even when we succeed. We hide our differences when, by accepting and celebrating them, we could collaborate to make every effort more exciting, productive, enjoyable, and powerful. Personally, I think we should start right now. I mean, hey, how hard can it be?

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